Tangled Birthday

Fear is Natural

When I was a kid, I was scared of swimming. Scared of the deep dark water, hell I was scared of not only drowning, but drowning in terribly exaggerated ways. All of the living things that were hiding in the water wanted to get me. I was National Geographic savvy; fish with teeth like tiger claws, only sharper and paralysis inducing jellyfish, not to mention giant sharks with a sweet tooth for fat kids.

Ohhhh no, hell no. A million times no! There's no way I was going in there. What if I was the reason scientists would find a new breed of man eating creature and I was the man?! Did those yellow bordered magazines skew my tender little grey brain into paranoia, when all they were trying to do was write an interesting story? You bet your snorkel they did. Suit me up in one of those old ambient pressure diving suits. You know, the ones with the iron diving helmets and the big rubber suits from the 1800's! Yeah, one of those! I saw myself getting into the pool at the YMCA wearing one of those. Now that was swimming! Armed with my trusty spear gun, no underseas menace could stand a chance!

The turning point, aquatically speaking, happened when my dad was tasked with teaching me not to die in the water. Not swimming classes, but how to at find my inner killer whale and lose the fear. So, we're standing at the edge of the water at a resort pool. My little fingers are shaking, my lip is quivering and I'm pretty sure I'm about fixin' to either pee on myself and then faint or do both simultaneously. We look into the dark late afternoon water and he proceeds to explain that there's nothing to fear. He'd be close by in case I needed him, but there was no mistaking that I was going in there alone. In my mind, there wasn't a beast that man couldn't deal with. His might arms could unhinge the jaws of any Krakken, burst through any mountain, or even improve the orbit of the Earth because I wanted shade. There's nothing he wouldn't do for me. Except explain the basics of swimming. He said, "Let's practice breathing. Draw in once. Draw in twice. Draw in three times." I drew in a deep breath and I felt his hand on my back and his foot on my butt as I was launched into the deep end of the pool.

As my 7 year old body flew into the water like a lead lawn ornament, my breath flew out of me like the shuttle into space. I tried to kick, but it didn't help, my fears had gotten the better of me. I opened my eyes underwater and saw things through my fuzzy and burning vision that wanted lunch. A large spotted purple blow fish, pale red-headed sea serpents and shadows of the biggest teeth I'd ever seen were all around me an closing in. My only hope was launching myself up through the surface to call for help. I felt my foot touch something. The bottom of the pool! I pushed with all of my might and shot through all of those deadly critters, practically coming out of the water all together just long enough to shout. "I can't..!" Just like that I went back down.

I heard the sound of a muffled cannon. Loud and dense. BOOOOOM. I was surrounded by bubbles and through the murkiness, an arm pulled my up by my trunks. That was the most welcomed wedgie of my short life. All of the demons of the deep slunk back in to the depths as the rays of the late afternoon sun danced on the surface ripples.

So there we were, my hero dad and myself hanging onto the edge of the pool. "You, okay?" I was coughing a little and my eyes were full of chlorine. I looked around to see all of the sea critters looking back at me. The chubby old lady in the spotted bathing suit, the pale red headed teenage kid and all of the others, all concerned by the survival lesson. I answered with a smile and a nervous laugh, "Yeah, I'll get better at this, right?" As we shared this moment under the tooth-shaped palm tree shade, he looked into my worried eyes and said, "You're better than when you first went in, right?"

Fear is natural, but if I don't at least try, I'll never be better than when I started. Just keep going and those fear transforms into confidence. This goes for anything. Meeting new people, doing new things. Anything. Try it and you'll develop a richness in character that you didn't have before. Make fear work for you, don't be a slave to it.

When Is It My Turn?

When the fish are away, seals get angry and furious. What to eat? What to do other than stare out waiting? Waiting. Thinking. Thinking at times, "I'm going to get the first fish I see and gobble it up. Then the next one and the next one! There's no stopping me!" Unless there are no fish, that stops you. Do seals pray for fish? Do they hope? Hope that the currents will bring them by? Do they go out looking for fish and potentially die in the process? There are things bigger, faster and hungrier out there with sharper teeth. What if I'm not good enough? What if there's another seal that's better than me? Fear is paralyzing, I know. Fear of failure. Of criticism. Fear that you’re not up to it. It’ll stop you mid-swim. It will melt your sand castle and your hopes and fragile dreams with it. It's probably safer to wait.

Wait for the opportunity? Wait for Ed McMinnow to come onto the rocks with a giant check for 1 million clams? Even better, wait for a fishing boat to wreck on the rocks and have free fish for weeks! A hurricane of halibut. A tsunami of salmon. A twister of trout! The heavens above parting as rays surround the hand of God while he scoops up handfuls of fish and lays them out on the rocks for all to feast on! Anything could happen! Something divine must happen! But it probably won't.

Don't wait. Don't look at others with envy. Don’t look at the other seals eating fish and say, “What about me?” Don't get angry and stay that way. Get angry and turn it into good. Make it work for you. Make it inspire you to do great "sealy" things! Make it happen. Trust in you. See yourself for who you've become and give value to that. Give yourself the value that you want the other seals to see. What you want the world to see. Trust in the fact that you're made of better stuff and your inner light will shine for the world to see.

There is an oppor-tuna-ty for you out there, my friendly seal. There is kindness in the scary oceans. There is a higher power looking down upon you wanting you to trust. Wanting you to push and make things happen. There is a bounty of fish for you out there, brother or sister seal and it's waiting for you to reach out and grab it! Never stop working toward it. Be smart and see the clarity of where you are and what it possible. If you can't alone, the oceans are filled with those who have and are willing to help.

Think for a moment that you don't deserve and you won't. Think that you can't and you never will. Think that it's possible and it shall become. Think about giving up and you're half way there. Know that you can and it will happen. No fish? Maybe not right now, but soon and plenty. Work toward it. Pray on it. Dream on it. Never stop working on it. When your time is right, my kind seal friend. When your time is right.

Dreams Come True!!

Never Trust an Eyeball Free Fish

I’ve always heard that eyes are the windows to the soul. Eyes can give great insight into who we are and sometimes, who we're dealing with. Some folks have the shutters locked up nice and tight. Others are cooking soup and the glass has all fogged up. Some are shattered and bitter, gloomy and jaded, big, bright, rose-colored, beady, stained, strained, frosted, blown, scratched, polarized, reflective, and my favorite….clear. Others still have a wandering window and you’re not entirely sure which one to look at.

It’s been my experience that, you really can't have a great conversation with a shark; it's really hard to read their eyes. One minute you're having a cold one, telling a few jokes, talking about the one that got away and then BAMMM they turn on you! Those big black eyes roll back white and then it's all teeth! Not picture-taking, "let's preserve this moment and laugh in a few years" teeth, but   "I'm going to pick little gristly and bits resembling you from my choppers later" ones! 

This same thing happens with some people I've met. I've had folks look me square in the face and without a moment's hesitation, lie. I'm taking caught red-handed lie. What makes this happen? When we're kids, we lie to get out of trouble, but hopefully our parents are there to break the habit. Not lying is part of growing up and being able to be trusted. The nuns who taught us in school said that God was looking at us and every time we lied, we were that much closer to hell. What?! I can go to hell because I ate a whole bag of marshmallows and then blamed it on the Bermuda Triangle?! I lied when Father George’s church wine miraculously turned to water. I lied when I ate all of the fund-raising chocolate bars that I was supposed to sell. Who trusts a fat kid with a suitcase filled with chocolate?! My folks are lucky that I didn’t end up sunning in Zihuatanejo hand in hand with my cocoa bride by my side. They got off easy paying the digested $25 bucks. Sometimes, I even lied about things other kids did so they wouldn't get in trouble! 

I learned early on that you watch the eyes, but don't get caught up in them. Studies have shown that if you gaze at someone’s eyes for more than 5 seconds, you’re either getting kissed or getting punched. Trust happens over time, not at one time. Fish will flounder and sharks will bite, it's in their nature. We are more self-aware than that. We can change our habits. We can also easily fall back into them. Please be vigilant.

Ever lie about something and you don't know why you did? Example:

Woman: Hey (your name here), long time no see! How are you?
Man: Yeah, it's been a long time, (her name here)! I'm great!

Even when he's lost his job or his relationship is in shambles or he is being stalked by his zombie ninja ex-girlfriend, yet he still answered, "I'm great!"

Is it that he’s wishing he’s that he was great or is it so the cheerful reunion doesn't turn into a pity party? Honestly, it's probably both. But think about this, what if by God or fate or serendipity, this is the one person who can help you and that's why they were placed on your path?

So what if the conversation had taken this turn:

Woman: Hey (your name here), long time no see! How are you?

Man: Yeah, it's been a long time, (her name here)! Honestly, things aren't going so well.
Woman: What's going on?
Man: Well, I got released a few weeks back after (ex's name here) left me annnddd I'm being stalked by my zombie ninja ex-girlfriend.
Woman: (thoughtfully) Oh.
Man: I don't mean to bum you out.
Woman: No, oh no, you're not. We have a position that just opened up at the firm, you'd be perfect for! You should talk to (incredibly epic woman's name here), she's looking to date when she's not hunting down zombies, ninjas and ex’s in her spare time.

So, the moral is: Never trust an eyeball free fish...Nope! Scratch that!!

I told my kids this: Be honest, with yourself, wash your windows frequently, you'll get trusted more and you'll have better people come into your life and the whole thing will make you happier, wiser and more satisfied with a life well lived. 
Oh and as a side note: Never drink with sharks!

Drunktapus

Don't Confuse Who I Am...

Octocry, Stop Being An Octopuss

Just A Drip With Friends

You are who you hang out with! A "drip" is someone who is annoying or uninteresting. Don't be a drip.

Bubblepus of the Seven Seas

Birthdays and Focus

Birthdays are a reflection time for me. I think of everything that happened in the past year and what I'd like to happen in the next. See, my birthday has always been like a brand new year. I'm in June, so that gives me two chances to reset, recalibrate and focus. December 31st and my birthday! I think about the people that I've surrounded myself with and if I'm okay with them or if I’m cool with my job or if I go to sleep and I’m satisfied with my average day. Most times, I am. We are the cumulative collection of our experiences and surroundings. We have the ability to change those things and either make them better or keep on the same path.
We make tiny seemingly insignificant decisions every day. Open the door for the person struggling with bags. Give a happy "Hi!" even when we feel like hell. Make someone else feel like nothing else in the world matters, because in their world nothing else does. Drop some change in the parking lot or the sidewalk so some else thinks it's their lucky day. Do something good for someone else and don't tell anyone. Those are the things that they'll remember, the things that make a little miracle in their world.

Don't be co-dependent; please don't let the world walk all over you. You're better than that. But do be cool. We touch so many lives and never realize it. Live each day like you were scratching off a lotto ticket. Scratch scratch scratch. A new friend! Scratch scratch scratch. Another story to tell! Scratch scratch scratch. Ewwww, that sucked! Not every ticket is a winner, but you’ll never win if you don’t try. Only you can truly change your world. Want to be amazing? Set that up in your life. Wish, meditate or pray for the things that you want, not the things you wish to avoid. Say "I want to meet someone who values me. Someone who gets me!" NOT "Please stop sending me A-holes!"

Life is filled with disappointments, keep moving, man. Life is dangerous, keep moving, man. Life is full of impossibilities, keep moving, man. You will be rewarded with the worst things in life if you see it that way. Look at the awful things that happen to you as ways to help others get through their bad times. Be that light that you wish you'd had. But don't take any crap. GIVE YOURSELF VALUE. Stay humble, but let your soul tell the tale. Let your actions light the way. Trust that you were born for better things and as long as there is a breath of life in you, it will get better.

Stop watching the world be filled with people doing amazing things and simply marvel. Stop saying, “Wow, they’re really lucky!” Do it. Do something that makes you smile. Hell, do things that make you laugh, but never at someone else’s expense. Stop watching greatness on TV and be great! You have a story to write in your book of life. Love yourself and do it! Be passionate about something and follow it like a dog chases a car! Find your inner baby and hug that thing that you love like hey hug that blanket. Trust in you the way that a bird trusts it’s wings to carry them higher. Stop taking bull from people or things in your life and grab that brass ring. You can do it. You may not think you can, but I believe that if one person can do it, anyone can. Be willing to fail. Get up and do it until it’s right. Don’t be afraid to look like a dork.

You are the architect of your future, your life. What makes a great person great? Tenacity and the undying will to never give up. Strive. Focus. Rise. Most of all, pull up others with you that are worthy of it. Yes, judge and scrutinize who surrounds you. Only the best should be around you. Those with the biggest heart. The sharpest wit. The biggest laugh. Don't settle. You are the mayor of yourself; choose who lives in your city and your heart. Birthdays are a time to reflect and focus. Thank you all for being part of my city. :)

Critter Notebook: Pretty Monster

Known for having a taste for the finer things in life, the Pretticulous Epicurious will track a pretty scent for months before attacking. Noted Critterologist, Dr. Rafaello Munchapita, observed and tracked the commonly known "Pretty Monster" for decades until the spring of 1838, becoming one more victim of good fashion sense.

It is suspected that the "Pretty Monster" is attracted by pretty or fashionable items and can do little to control its urges to consume it and consequently the person wearing the item. The creature is especially drawn to attractive women and especially celebrities. In a 1823 journal, Dr. Munchapita wrote, "The P.E. seems terribly attracted to items that we as a community deem as beautiful, as is this were not enough, it is drawn to movement and falls into a trance-like state when the creature is automatically turned into a tracking and feeding machine."

Dr. Munchapita fell victim to his obession with the "Pretty Monster" one which he captured as a pup and raised clandestinely for years. Upon post-pubescent maturation, the creature attacked the good doctor, only after a particularly dashing haircut.

A sketchbook salute to the Pretticulous Epicurious and Dr. Munchapita's legacy.

You're Disgruntled...so, re-gruntle yourself!!

New World

Sometimes you want to feel brand new. I don't, do you?

Koi WaterColor on Strathmore 400 Series Watercolor 140lbs Cold Press

Quick Character Sketch

Fieldbook_Post_07 - Snorkelman

There's this guy that swims every morning at my gym when I'm swimming and he wears goggles and a snorkel. Thought that was a little creepy, but that's what I get for living artsy I guess!

Koi WaterColor on Strathmore 400 Series Watercolor 140lbs Cold Press

Fieldbook_Post_06

Fieldbook_Post_05

Fieldbook_Post_04

Fieldbook_Post_03

Fieldbook_Post_02

Fieldbook_Post_01

I have a couple of different notebooks. One for things I see and the other for thing I'd like to see. Fieldbooks are what I see and this is post number 1.

Sorry....geez

Sometimes, you do something terribly dumb and don't know why.

Koi WaterColor on Strathmore 400 Series Watercolor 140lbs Cold Press

Pretty Girl

Just a thought.

Koi WaterColor on Strathmore 400 Series Watercolor 140lbs Cold Press

We All Need Time.

Even the most ill tempered of us need a spark of fun. Make time to laugh!

Koi WaterColor on Strathmore 400 Series Watercolor 140lbs Cold Press

Don't let 'em the the best of you, you're better than that!

Swing when it's toughest. Swing when they say you can't possibly succeed. Swing when you ain't got no mo'.
Show the world that you're made of tougher stuff. Just don't give up.

Koi WaterColor on Strathmore 400 Series Watercolor 140lbs Cold Press

Part of something bigger

We all want to be heard, even for a single screaming minute. Unlock and release your fears. You are crucial to this world and give it color. You are wanted even when you don't think you deserve it. You are part of one giant screwed up family, mankind.

Koi WaterColor on Strathmore 400 Series Watercolor 140lbs Cold Press

Peep, baby, peep!

Egg-tastico!

Hoppiness is a warm bunny

I Have a Question.

Raise it higher! Don't choke. Just throw it out there, because there are no stupid questions. Unless you're the one who's about to break that stupid mold.
Ahhhh, screw it! Just do it!

Koi WaterColor on Strathmore 400 Series Watercolor 140lbs Cold Press

Feel it

Many thanks to my benevolent benefactors for springing for a new scanner. Thanks folks!

A Tree for You

The holidays are upon us and I wanted to get you something, so I made a little tree and had a little thought. During this season of giving, be nice. Throughout the year, be nice. Hell, be nice to someone with out them knowing. Be nice when someone pisses you off, you'll be all the better for it. Don't expect anything in return for your generosity, because most folks don't know how to behave when someone is nice. Just be nice for the sake of it. Happy holidays for whatever you celebrate. Have a the best day possible every day and you'll see how being nice will be en epidemic.

Pass this post along and remember, you can also be naughty, but keep it to a minimum. Hahahahaha!

Big Red

(singing) Big red monster with big ol' yella teeth. Big smiling monster with big ol' yella teeth.

If he attacks, I'm sooooo tripping you. Ha!

Koi WaterColor on Strathmore 400 Series Watercolor 140lbs Cold Press

Excitosaurus!!!!

The Elusive Strawberry Jellyfish - CAUGHT!

After almost three decades of searching by academic, nature enthusiast and gentleman, Sir Archibald James Tomlinson VI, the once thought mythological sea creature, the Strawberry Jellyfish was finally captured on paper off of the Western California coast. Sadly, after years of tenacious pursuit, taxing his family life and savings Sir Archibald was forced into a life of solitude, living until 1992, on a small uncharted island off of the coast of Loka Chica'n Choka Heimlichi where at the ripe age of 96 passed away in his sleep after being eaten by a Great White Shark. The widow Tomlinson is quoted as saying after being told of the jellyfish discovery, "F**k." The family, who had suffered and both financial and emotions distress has established a Strawberry Jellyfish conservation fund to protect the once thought extinct species that Sir Archibald wasted his life for. Filming of the TV movie based on Tomlinson’s life begins this spring with 5 different actors playing the enthusiast at different phases on his life.

A girl I spotted on a passing bus.

I Roar, You Giggle.

You might not be able to control them, but don't let it control you.
Laugh, the world loves you, dude!

Koi WaterColor on Strathmore 400 Series Watercolor 140lbs Cold Press

Bearly There

Sometimes a little gloom is just what you need. Don't avoid it, but don't live there. Get a hug, hell, ask for one it'll get better. Pass it on. :)

Rising Star

See You Next Year, Turkey Baby!

Which Are You?

Sometimes (not frequently) I want to be left alone, not even touched. I'll gnaw your arm off if you bother me during these moments. On the other hand, I'm also the guy who wants the reaction, good or bad or even unsuppressed laughter. It's a fine balance knowing how you're feeling, but we are both. The people around us see it and evolve into it.

Be a jerk and you'll form that around you. Be cool and you'll get that too. Be amazing and the you've made a place to flourish! Do it! Make your future brighter!!

My goal is to be the person that I’d want to hang out with.

Which way do you lean?

Hrrumph.....

Auditory Sketch: I heard this person on the bus behind me.

Sketches and bus paintings

Gross coughing lady on the bus inspired me

Hot Coffee

Ghostly Gas

Rolf the Dog

Snowmen