Never Trust an Eyeball Free Fish

I’ve always heard that eyes are the windows to the soul. Eyes can give great insight into who we are and sometimes, who we're dealing with. Some folks have the shutters locked up nice and tight. Others are cooking soup and the glass has all fogged up. Some are shattered and bitter, gloomy and jaded, big, bright, rose-colored, beady, stained, strained, frosted, blown, scratched, polarized, reflective, and my favorite….clear. Others still have a wandering window and you’re not entirely sure which one to look at.

It’s been my experience that, you really can't have a great conversation with a shark; it's really hard to read their eyes. One minute you're having a cold one, telling a few jokes, talking about the one that got away and then BAMMM they turn on you! Those big black eyes roll back white and then it's all teeth! Not picture-taking, "let's preserve this moment and laugh in a few years" teeth, but   "I'm going to pick little gristly and bits resembling you from my choppers later" ones! 

This same thing happens with some people I've met. I've had folks look me square in the face and without a moment's hesitation, lie. I'm taking caught red-handed lie. What makes this happen? When we're kids, we lie to get out of trouble, but hopefully our parents are there to break the habit. Not lying is part of growing up and being able to be trusted. The nuns who taught us in school said that God was looking at us and every time we lied, we were that much closer to hell. What?! I can go to hell because I ate a whole bag of marshmallows and then blamed it on the Bermuda Triangle?! I lied when Father George’s church wine miraculously turned to water. I lied when I ate all of the fund-raising chocolate bars that I was supposed to sell. Who trusts a fat kid with a suitcase filled with chocolate?! My folks are lucky that I didn’t end up sunning in Zihuatanejo hand in hand with my cocoa bride by my side. They got off easy paying the digested $25 bucks. Sometimes, I even lied about things other kids did so they wouldn't get in trouble! 

I learned early on that you watch the eyes, but don't get caught up in them. Studies have shown that if you gaze at someone’s eyes for more than 5 seconds, you’re either getting kissed or getting punched. Trust happens over time, not at one time. Fish will flounder and sharks will bite, it's in their nature. We are more self-aware than that. We can change our habits. We can also easily fall back into them. Please be vigilant.

Ever lie about something and you don't know why you did? Example:

Woman: Hey (your name here), long time no see! How are you?
Man: Yeah, it's been a long time, (her name here)! I'm great!

Even when he's lost his job or his relationship is in shambles or he is being stalked by his zombie ninja ex-girlfriend, yet he still answered, "I'm great!"

Is it that he’s wishing he’s that he was great or is it so the cheerful reunion doesn't turn into a pity party? Honestly, it's probably both. But think about this, what if by God or fate or serendipity, this is the one person who can help you and that's why they were placed on your path?

So what if the conversation had taken this turn:

Woman: Hey (your name here), long time no see! How are you?

Man: Yeah, it's been a long time, (her name here)! Honestly, things aren't going so well.
Woman: What's going on?
Man: Well, I got released a few weeks back after (ex's name here) left me annnddd I'm being stalked by my zombie ninja ex-girlfriend.
Woman: (thoughtfully) Oh.
Man: I don't mean to bum you out.
Woman: No, oh no, you're not. We have a position that just opened up at the firm, you'd be perfect for! You should talk to (incredibly epic woman's name here), she's looking to date when she's not hunting down zombies, ninjas and ex’s in her spare time.

So, the moral is: Never trust an eyeball free fish...Nope! Scratch that!!

I told my kids this: Be honest, with yourself, wash your windows frequently, you'll get trusted more and you'll have better people come into your life and the whole thing will make you happier, wiser and more satisfied with a life well lived. 
Oh and as a side note: Never drink with sharks!